Steve Hofstetter’s Comedy Without Apology Tour

$17. Metro Gallery, Baltimore.

Kinda nerdy and thankfully sans an instrument onstage, this bespectacled comedian with bad posture and a knowledge of sports stops by Charles Street tonight for his particular brand of pedestrian comedy. His web site doesn't say where he lives, but he must dig traveling because his act really riffs off the audience--whether it's intentionally invited to participate through his many questions or because it's heckling his skinny ass. He threw back a "Bitch, this ain't TV, I can hear you" once, which is pretty badass for an insecure stand-up (but aren't they all?), so if you go see him and you like to talk loud or talk back, be prepared to get fucked with. Thank god for the Metro Gallery's bar. (Wendy Ward)

E Major

Red Maple, Baltimore.

The Blackout Nights, Destry, Mean Creek, Leland Palmer, Hiphopmcdougal

The Ottobar, Baltimore.

Homeless Youth Art Slam

free. Cyclops Books and Music, Baltimore.

More than a dozen homeless or formerly homeless young people—brought together by the Baltimore Homeless Youth Initiative’s Youth Leaders—will tell their stories through poetry, visual art, song, and dance.

The Vagina Monologues

$10, MICA affiliates $5. MICABBOX, Baltimore.

The award-winning play by Eve Ensler gives voice to women's fantasies and fears. Benefits TurnAround, Inc.; part of V-Day.

Smile, Hon, You're in Flagrante!

free. Atomic Books, Baltimore.

Release party for the sex issue of local Eight-Stone Press' latest installment of the Smile, Hon, You're in Baltimore series.

Mount Righteous, Sine Bean

The Windup Space, Baltimore.

Ebony Bones

$7. Talking Head, Baltimore.

One of those mostly local lineups that sees through scenes and cliques that Baltimore needs more of, Tax Lo's Halloween bash brings together several volatile canisters of testosterone via grimy garage-rock beast Hollywood and psych shredder Vincent Black Shadow. Add in Nadastrom (pictured), what seems to be club DJ/producer Dave Nada's main project now, for house and Baltimore club dance-floor heaviness and standing still gets ever harder. Being Halloween and all, of course, there's a couple of cover bands: Rah Rah Replica doing Bikini Kill and Black Coffee doing Black Flag. (Michael Byrne)

Baltimore Symphony Orchestra: Pictures of Music

$45-$75. Music Center at Strathmore, Bethesda.

Maestra Marin Alsop leads the BSO through pieces by Mussorgsky, Mathis der Maler, and Dave and Chris Brubeck.

The Vagina Monologues

$10, MICA affiliates $5. MICABBOX, Baltimore.

The award-winning play by Eve Ensler gives voice to women's fantasies and fears. Benefits TurnAround, Inc.; part of V-Day.

BIG's Brushed Hearts Valentine's Improv

$12, CA members $10. Creative Alliance at the Patterson, Baltimore.

Baltimore Improv Group comedy with Baltimore's body painter Jen Seidel. A brave volunteer from the audience will be painted live on stage by Ms. Seidel.

Baltimore Symphony Orchestra: Pictures of Music

$45-$75. Meyerhoff Symphony Hall, Baltimore.

Maestra Marin Alsop leads the BSO through pieces by Mussorgsky, Mathis der Maler, and Dave and Chris Brubeck.